Starting Daycare: 10 Ways to Help Your Toddler Settle In
How to prepare in the weeks before, what to do at drop-off, and what's completely normal in the first few weeks, for your child and for you.
By The Stars · · 2 min read
The first weeks of daycare are a big change for the whole family. There may be tears, at drop-off and sometimes in the car afterwards. That's normal, and it passes. A little preparation goes a long way, for your child and for you.
In the weeks before
- Visit together. Go back for a second look before the first day if you can. Let your child explore the room while you're right there. Familiar places feel safe.
- Talk about it simply and positively. "At daycare you'll play, eat lunch with friends, and then I'll come back." Keep it short and cheerful, and don't overpromise.
- Read stories about starting daycare. Picture books about saying goodbye and coming back give your child words for big feelings.
- Practise short goodbyes. Leave your child with a grandparent or friend for an hour or two, and come back when you said you would.
- Line up the routine. If you can, shift wake-up, meal and nap times toward the daycare schedule a week or two ahead.
At drop-off
- Make a goodbye ritual. A hug, a kiss on the hand, a special wave at the window. Do the same thing every day. Predictable goodbyes are easier goodbyes.
- Keep it short and warm. Long, lingering goodbyes make it harder. Say goodbye, say when you'll be back ("after nap"), and go.
- Never sneak out. It's tempting when your child is happily playing, but disappearing can make them more anxious the next day. Always say goodbye.
- Trust the educators. Hand your child over with a smile, even if you're not feeling it. Children read our faces. Educators are very good at comforting little ones and moving them into play.
- Come back when you said you would. Being on time at pick-up, especially in the first weeks, teaches your child that you always return.
What's normal in the first few weeks
- ★Tears at drop-off. Very common, and they often stop within minutes of you leaving. Ask the educators how the rest of the morning went.
- ★Extra tiredness. A new place, new people and new sounds are a lot to take in. Earlier bedtimes help.
- ★A step backward at home. Clinginess, more tantrums or changes in sleep can show up for a while. Extra cuddles and calm routines help.
- ★A great first week, then tears. Some children settle straight away, then protest once they realise daycare is every day. This usually passes too.
Most children settle within a few weeks, though every child is different. Talk with your child's educators often. They see your child every day and can tell you what's working.
And for you
It's normal to feel guilty, sad or worried, even when you know it's the right choice. Give yourself the same patience you give your child. Ask for a quick update or a photo in the first days if that helps. It's okay to need a little reassurance too.
